you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
