Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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