i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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