He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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