My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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