i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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