Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
