i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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