Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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