Sober January is a disaster.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
