I wish I could teleport
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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