She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
