i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
