Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
