i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I've blown a few things in my day
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
