Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
