When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
