it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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