Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
