Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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