i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
