I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Sext me about skeletons
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
