They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
