so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
