did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
