Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
