At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
