It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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