Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
