he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
pray to the hookup gods
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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