Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Randomize
