I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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