how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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