Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
