omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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