I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
