Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Thank you for not boning my boss.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
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