all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
