you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
