summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
