Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
