Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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