i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
