Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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