Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
They have beer where we have blood.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
