I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
