Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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