I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
