I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
