What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
