Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
just tell him i said nine months
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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