i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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