At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
