I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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