from now on my penis is your penis
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
