i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
